At long last, the answer as to why Greg was continually squishing smurfs over at the local pizza joint was found. Please refer to the above picture, taking great notice of the highlighted area.

Having neatly rooted out the location of the smurf secret hideout, I did a victory strut, and then gathered my Leg Breaker Society posse. We, with ball bats in hand, headed out for Fargo, I relishing the realization that soon, yes very soon now, I would know the answer to the question, ‘if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?’
   Meanwhile, Amy and Greg were left with the task of seeing to the safety and non-bluing of the pizza joint. I mean, how would it be if we started serving up pizza with blue toppings?
“Excuse me, but what is this blue stuff?”
“Well ma’m, that’s blue sausage.”
“What? … Why?”
“Well, ya see ma'm, we tried to dye it green and…”
“Why?”
“Well for saint Patty’s day, of course!”
“Uh, it’s January.”
“Well yes but … ya see… we were practicing … to get ahead of the game … so we could have it perfected … and stuff.”
“Uh hu. Right. Gimme my money back.”
This safety and non-bluing duty proved to be a heavy task, as smurfs breed quicker than rats. So, there was many little blue things in need of squishing, but when one squishes a smurf, it bursts apart, thus expectorating blue goo everywhere. No really, everywhere. You wouldn’t believe the places that stuff gets too, the distance it flies. Also, if you don’t get it wiped up immediately, it is so difficult to remove, a jackhammer has been known to give way before it. The worst part though, is if you don’t wash it up without delay, it stains severely. Well, reason enough for me to want to break a few smurfy knees, and other things, mehehe.



Postscript;
   They turn indigo…